i have evolved
if I punch someone in the face and give a flower to a child does that mean you wouldn’t call me violent
Against my better judgement, after staring at it for ten minutes and trying to assure myself as long as I have $40 left in my bank account I can hit $200 on next payday and start saving, I have bought Mass Effect 3 Deluxe edition bye
(im pastellily on origin)
I’m really tired of life because I miss people every day and they never miss me and that’s pretty much what life is.
i don’t know why he bothered trolling me but it’s super apparant now? and i guess i was just really involved with this idea that maybe i was worht something, enough to be missed, and i was a really big fucking idiot to think that.
i have been struggling with my self confidence for a long, long time. especially after mara. i don’t know what i expected. i’ve already come to terms with the fact that i am undesirable both physically and mentally. i don’t know why i actually… let myself think.
i wasn’t lying when i said i missed him, i’m not going to be petty and take that back. but i’m not wasting any more time here hoping to see another message laced with sincerity. it’s just not going to happen.
i caught on. not fast enough, but i did. and now it’s done. i’m changing my password. im not going to come back here. fred will never find my new blog, so he’ll never get another chance to fucking trick me like that.
i have been hurt before, but this is probably the worst thing i’ve ever felt. i never thought he missed me. i was so sure he never even thought of me. part of me doubted he remembered who the fuck i even was.
so this really hurt. it really, really hurt. i hope he accomplished what he set out to do and feels proud of himself.